2013!

wow! masa gw belom ada post apa-apa nih menjelang akhir 2012 dan sekarang di awal 2013! :D

well, okay, umm... 2012.. oh, what a year!

buat gw tahun 2012 itu kayak naik wahana niagara di dufan! (eh niagara apa niagara-gara yah?)

2012 itu.. awalnya yang bikin excited banget, deg-degan, semangat!, penasaran pengen tau "what's next?". seneng dan kadang ngga nyangka sama hal-hal yang terjadi. karena semuanya terasa kayak first time, well emang kenyataannya mungkin begitu sih.
terus.. di pertengahan gw udah mulai tau apa yang bikin penasaran di awal. gw udah ada di puncak niagara, gw bisa liat semuanya. rasanya campur aduk. antara ngga mau terjun karena takut akan kenyataan dan ngga mau ninggalin awal yang gw suka :(. gw mau balik lagi! tapi ngga bisa, time goes on.

akhirnya semuanya jatuh ke bawah. gw ngga bisa hang loose, karena terlalu takut. bukan ini yang gw mau, ngga kayak gini. rasanya kayak terbang tinggi-tinggi, terus tiba-tiba jatuh gitu aja.

kerasa ngga nih feel nya? *sailah serius amat* *rilek ngapah rilek!* << bang andica banget. hahaha

tapi ya setelah udah sampe ke bawah nih dari ketinggian niagara itu, ada waktu yang cukup lama. buat mikir dan nyadarin diri sendiri, "worth it ngga sih, fit?". jawab nya harus pake pikiran yang bersiiiihhhh ditambah logika yang jelas dan most of all, kepada siapa lo kembali? Allah.

now, welcome 2013! I can't wait to know what you will bring to me!

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gloomy ending. gloomy feeling. the gloom sky. the cold weather. rain is falling almost everyday, at noon until night especially.

love that never meet its soul. floating, as if it feels confused whether to keep going, to go backing off, or.. just stay still like that waiting for something good to happen.

failed. of course it did happen to me before. who didn't? but, the feeling of failed at something never failed to turn me down so bad. it always makes me questioning "what did I do wrong?" "I've done my best, right?" "oh god, why?"

a stroke. it stroked the calm atmosphere in my house one morning, an early morning. panicked. choked up.

disappointment, disappointment, disappointment.

This is probably the best way to picture my feelings in the ending of 2012.

oh by the way, my hair is not that wavy.